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  • Martin Williams

New Year - New Me


Goodbye 2022


The last 2 years were difficult for most but now, with vaccines and boosters in place and much of the world re-opened, hope is in the air for a return to something like normality.

However, months of anxiety, grief & loneliness has created a spiral for many that is hard to break out of since chronic stress changes the brain. Sometimes, when we're low, we have no interest in doing the things that could actually make us feel better.



Getting the most out of 2023


It is possible to use the start of the year as a healthy catalyst for change, reflection & future planning. The key is to focus on the positives of what you have achieved or learned previously, and to be realistic about what you want and hope to achieve in the coming year.

To get the most out of 2023, we need to break destructive habits and get our energy levels back. In some cases, that will mean actually forcing yourself to do the things that will gradually make you feel better.


“I want you to get excited about who you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.”

– Virginia Satir, Pioneer of family therapy


6 Ways to Change our Brains for the Better


  • Be kind & helpful

  • Exercise

  • Eat well

  • Keep socially connected

  • Learn something new

  • Sleep properly


Embracing Change


Periods of change and uncertainty are stressful and can create many uncomfortable feelings whose roots lie in the anxiety it causes. With change can come hardship and regret and a longing for an easier past.


Despite all our yearnings for change, we are often very comfortable with inertia as change, specifically changing ourselves is hard and involves taking ourselves out of our comfort zones. Embracing change means that we have to believe it is beneficial, possible, and that it lies within our power to do so.


“The curious thing is that, when I accept myself just as i am, then I can change.”

– Carl Rogers, Founder of the Humanistic Approach to Psychology


Managing Change


In order to manage the anxieties of change, try to follow the following:

· Be gentle with yourself and others

· Allow all emotions

· Name the emotions

· Go inwards, not outwards

· Ask for help


10 Common Mistakes of Self-Improvement Drives

  1. Relying on willpower for long term change

  2. Attempting big leaps instead of baby steps

  3. Ignoring how environment shapes behaviour

  4. Trying to stop old behaviours instead of creating new ones

  5. Blaming failure on lack of motivation

  6. Underestimating the power of triggers

  7. Believing that information leads to action

  8. Focusing on abstract goals rather than concrete behaviours

  9. Seeking to change behaviour forever

  10. Assuming that behavioural change is difficult


“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

– Socrates




Effecting change


We must TRIGGER the desired behaviour when we are MOTIVATED and ABLE to do it. All 3 factors must be considered when planning a change.


Example:

Goal - Improve general fitness

Previous attempts - New Year's resolution and gym membership didn't work

Action - Change lofty goal to simple behavioural pattern


eg. Use the stairs, rather than the escalator or lift, when travelling between 2-3 floors

Motivation - "Get fitter"

Trigger - Escalators/lifts

Facility – Stairs


Focus


Focus on 2 or 3 (max) behaviours you wish to change and do them with gusto and excellence, rather than trying a dozen things just sufficiently. The momentum and satisfaction you will gain from pulling this off with a few amazing endeavours will far outweigh anything you could gain from doing a bunch of things halfway.


Conclusions


Approach a New Year from a place of balance:

  • Practice gratitude and build on your strengths

  • Set goals that are attainable and well defined

  • Break change down into small steps

  • Get outside of yourself and contribute


Take change one day at a time and understand that relapse is normal and an opportunity to learn.


To change is to persist, despite the odds and to expect (and accept) setbacks,

disappointments, and a relapse into the old ways.

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